Fitting the missing piece

You are so intimately aware of me, Lord. You read my heart like an open book and you know all the words I’m about to speak before I even start a sentence! You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.
Psalms 139:3‭-‬4 TPT

I want to say, even strong Christians face life challenges. In my journey with Christ, I got relaxed and because life was good I took everything for granted. When I was going through tough times, I went back to God but I missed him and felt alone. I became depressed and felt a deep void that could not be filled. I was given prescription after prescription to numb the pain but the more I was taking medication the more I felt like I was losing the reality of who I was.

When Holy Spirit was walking me back to my first love Jesus Christ. Everything became clear. I loved God but I did not give him my all. What do I mean? I mean when you have not come to a point where you say I am nothing without him you have not given him your all.

When life is great, you can’t let his will be everything and let your will be broken so that his will becomes a driving force in your life. I had to come to a place where I say everything I have is yours and if you take it it’s fine.

Now I am content and at peace, knowing and understanding that I surrendered to someone who knows my end from my beginning. I have lost things and people who I thought were my life but have gained peace, love, humility and faith that moves mountains. ‘I know my redeemer lives’

For my sanity and my health, I have completley surrendered my life to God. I wish I knew this before, that when you give him control life becomes so beautiful, easy and joyful. I wake up daily to make God the center of my life. I ask ‘Holy Spirit how would you love our day to be like?’ and he leads me, teach me and guide me to the most fulfilling time.

Lots of love

S.C