Why complicate something so simple

I made a prayer for healing, I was struggling with a terrible pain from rheumatoid arthritis. It was so painful to even lift up my hands, especially when I was dressing and I would bend so that I make it easy to remove and put on clothes. I prayed, asked to be healed as 1 Peter 2:24
who his own self bare our sins in his body upon the tree, that we, having died unto sins, might live unto righteousness; by whose stripes ye were healed.
and waited with expectation. Whilst waiting my mind was creating doubt that I had been praying to be healed for years now,what will be different with this prayer. Remember in my previous stories I have indicated that I prayed for healing but did not get results. I remember one time my colleague asked me, since you pray so much why are you still sick. My answer to him was even Paul suffered and God said to him 2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

After a week as I was waiting expectantly I observed the external piles that I had which has formed small lumps on the outside edge of the anus whereby my GP had adviced to book for operation urgently had vanished . The bleeding and pain was gone and I went to consult for confirmation and GP confirmed that the lumps were gone and he will postpone the operation. God answers prayer

My BP was not controllable, doctors kept on increasing medication.I was taking 5 different pills for high blood pressure only not speaking about other pills for other health issues, below is my reading which was not fine. Normal BP should be 120/80 you can see mine was way too high. The next thing I observed my BP was becoming normal and my pills began to be reduced from five now I am on 3 pills daily see readings below. God answers prayer

My Abnormal BP
My Normal BP

Now the big issue; Rheumatoid Arthritis, Presently I am not having any pain, still get swollen, can lift my hands, I can bend my knee and still praying for cartilage to grow back. Thinking that doctors cannot explain why am I walking, if its not Grace then I don’t know what it is. Let me share with you a story about my trip to Russia where I went with my Colleagues and got sick whilst in Russia and was taken to hospital . When we got to the hospital before I could see the doctor, blood tests and some X-rays were done. I went with the nurse who understood English to the consulting room and when we got in, the doctor and the nurse had a conversation which seemed like they were arguing at last they offered me a chair. I asked the nurse what might be the problem and she indicated that doctor had studied my blood and X-Ray results and was not expecting a walking patient. Then the doctor checked me and asked me which African Herb I was using to be still walking with level 4 Rheumatoid Arthritis. I said I walk by faith not by sight, there is no African Herb I am taking. They looked at me like I have gone banana’s and laughed. Current I can do things I was not able to do, I can bend my fingers, I walk without pain, I am seeing huge improvements and still expecting more everyday. I have learned to say I am not able to do this now but I know I am healed this too is going away. I know its hard but everyday I am expecting more until I am completely healed.God answers prayer

My pain has made me a better person and I understand when someone is in pain because I can relate. It has taught me not to be judgemental, or call people names. I pray that society can stop looking at sick people and thinking their sins are burning them, what sin did I do at thirteen years to suffer such pain. I am grateful for the life I have and I would not understand the mercy and favour to this level. Remember Pray asking, have faith or believe you got and answer, expect results. God wants you to be his Friend and Friends love each other, they talk to each other, laugh together, share secrets and special and painful moments John 15:13-15

Lots of Love see you in my next episode about Encounters

My struggle with prayer

Coming from a family that believes in both Christianity and culture was very difficult to pray. As a young girl I got confused on how to pray because One moment we had to inform our ancestors about our issues and another moment we had to inform God about our issues. The question was who will act fast and who made things happen. On top of the prayer dilemma was the worship issue where we will go to different worship platforms.

One day we will go to church and worship God who is a creator of everything and does not want to be mixed with other Gods. We will be reading the word of God and praying for his Devine intervension to help us and lead us on our daily walk. We will say he is our Father and all things are formed by him and we are His creatures that he cares so about, then

The other day we will go to grave yard or my grannies house and bow or kneel and worship our ancestors telling them all our problems and calling on them to meet our older ancestors to protect, guide and shower us with all kinds of blessing.

This was confusing to me as a young girl but it looked normal to my elders. How long did this confusion last…….. What do you think of this practice ?

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Less judgment

I was anxiously waiting for after lunch, and it came. We receive notes on our tables providing directions to our prayer venues. Mine was a walking distance to the lake house, others had to be transported to different venues. I walked towards my venue looking at the group members that were walking with me with suspicion, asking myself what religion do they belong to and how are we going to pray together.

We came to the lake house hall sat down on mats, there were no chairs and the group leader welcomed us and requested us to form a circle and make a prayer. Group members closed eyes and started praying, I closed one and stood there listening to hear what they were saying and they closed their prayers with the words “in Jesus Name Amen“. My eyes popped out, did I hear correctly are all religions saying in Jesus Name? We sat and we started with topic the of Judgement, our focus was on prayer and the question was what is the correct way of praying?

People started arguing that you cannot pray sleeping or standing others were saying you should kneel and others were saying you should stand and raise your hands,this became a long debate.The other topic was how long should your prayer be and should it be silent or loud what is correct? Quoting scriptures when praying and quoting names of people you praying for what is right?. People in discussion became so emotional about the debates some started yelling , others were crying and others left the room. My concern was what is going on here? We took a ten minute break and I went to one member and asked, are we mixed religions in this room and the guy said no we are all Christians and asked me whether I was probably lost. I indicated I was a Christian but how did the group know I was a Christian. The guy laughed and reminded me that as I was registering to join the group, I had Indicated my preference of religion. I had totally forgotten about that and I felt so dumb.

We came back and the facilitator asked why were we so emotional about the discussion we had earlier. We discussed and came to a conclusion that the reason was my way is the right way others are wrong. Which meant we judge those who do things differently from us and we must learn as Christians who are founded in love in christ to accept differences and embrace them without judgement.We realised that we come here to pray together but we cannot embrace each other as a church of Christ because of small issues that will not make God not to hear our prayers. The facilitator gave us opportunity to apologise for our small mindedness and also discuss other things that might blind us as Christians. This discussion took a long time moving from my “church” to being one church of Christ build on principles of love. It was too much for all of us, we took a break and most of us were in tears reflecting on how we always thought we were better than others all the time, whereas we always were one body of Christ with different parts

We took another break and when we returned we prayed for various things,like praying for ourselves to know who were are in Christ and for Christ to enlarge our territory and bless us in deed that is Prayer of Jabez. Our last prayer was a four sentence prayer.”Hear God our prayers. Look in favour at our pain. Hear and Act. Don’t delay for we bear your name.” Amen

We finished our session and left the lake to the hotel very late. It was an amazing experience that I will never forget and to me it was a great journey that I will always treasure.

Favour

I suddenly woke up to a loud noise and listening properly lions were roaring. I shrunk with fear and they were very close to the tent. I pulled the blanket to cover my head so that I don’t see anything that is about to happen and prayed like never before. I told God that He promised that He will never leave me nor forsake me, and He said in his word that we will tread over lions and serpents and He will protect us and I said at this moment I don’t need to tread over these lions but I need His protection. I am not a long prayer person but this night I prayed until it was quiet and I don’t know when did I fell asleep.I woke up and heard voices of people talking outside

I woke up and went outside and there were rangers with some workers and they were joking that I had a pride of lions visiting me last night as though it was normal.I asked them to help me fold my tent since I could not spend another night in the camp,they indicated that the lions won’t be back again but I insisted that I was going. They offered to help but in the afternoon, then I realised I needed accommodation in a safe place for the night. There was a hotel nearby I made a booking for a night but I still had to spend the whole day in my tent. I decided to continue with my gratitude journal and funny I had so many things to be grateful for which I couldn’t see before my encounter with lions. I saw how much God’s favour has been upon me all along and my gratitude led me to singing for your information I am a terrible singer but I was singing praising , worshipping , praying and meditating on the word of God and time was flying. I was truly in a moment with God and it was great with such joy and happiness. The guys arrived and were surprised that I was not ready whilst they left me panicking earlier but they helped me pack and directed me to the hotel.

Arriving to check in at the hotel, I found there was a big group checking in, so I sat waiting for my turn and I started chatting to the old lady who was part of the group and she invited me to join the group the next day for a day of payer and fun in the mountains. Fun and prayer was new to me and I accepted the invite and on my check- in I extended my stay with a day. I had a nice bath and went to bed early and I was at peace with myself.

The next day started very early with breakfast and we drove to the mountains and arriving there, we found their other team waiting with equipments for all sorts of games, starting from bikes, to ballgames and to board games. We had so much fun and laughter like old friends and I realised that we were coming from different religions but during games that did not matter.I started asking myself how are we going to pray together ? We went for lunch and after lunch we were going for prayer session, being curious I asked my old lady friend how are we going to pray, she smiled and said wait and see….

To be continued

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Gratitude game

On the third day, I woke up very early for my small walks and it was a bit chilly. I watched the beautiful birds singing and hip hopping without the care in the world. I stopped to think about how I was feeling.

I felt empty inside but the feeling was a bit different to loneliness. I had kept all the hurt, pain, hatred and un-forgiveness within me and I have let it all go and now I had to fill the space where these experiences stayed. It was tough because everytime, I had to do something it was coming from this place. I had to prove to everyone who has hurt me that I can. I felt the emptiness and that I have lost the drive, just then the couple I met first day came to check up on me and the brought breakfast and lunch picnic basket. We chose a nice picnic spot and sat they asked how I was coping and I explained my stay without discussing my journey.

They we so happy, laughing and you could see they were enjoying their stay here and they indicated that this was their annual awakening trip. So they asked me to engage in a gratitude game. I agreed now knowing what the game entailed. They started saying things they were grateful about one by one, my turn came I did not have much and I said I am grateful that I was alive. They laughed and said true after your fear of lions and I found myself joining them in their laughter and we kept the game going and for me it was a struggle and they indicated that I must not think very hard. They will say things like they were grateful for their dogs and cats also a plant they planted without hope of growing and it grew. I felt things they were grateful for were too minor but as they said them and laughed I found they were genuine. They left late afternoon indicating that should keep a gratitude journal.

I went to my tent feeling happy and started with my gratitude journal. I don’t know what time I went to sleep and I woke up to a scary sound…. what is happening?

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

To be continued

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Surprise

Waking up from my sleep during my camp time, I was prompted to search my bag and to my surprise I found an old journal which I had searched for it for a longtime not finding it. I gave up on searching for it and in my mind someone stole it and for what I could not know. It was just there, and how was it there to this day I don’t know and believe me I tried figuring out but can’t find a clear precise answer.

I made fire and boiled water for a hot cup of coffee, I stayed outside and started reading the journal. To my surprise my journal had lots of painful incidents and I had written so many times in the journal ,I can’t forgive so and so for the pain they have caused in my life.I will mention just two incidents where I vowed I will not forgive

First incident was a group of women who made a public joke about my english accent,and as I entered the room where one was standing on podium who happened to be my friend in a room full of people. The whole room looked at me and laughed, I was the joke of that day. I ran out crying one gentleman came to comfort me, then I recorded the incident in my journal as unforgivable incident

Second incident was when I was nearly beaten by my friend’s husband.My friend had called earlier in that week to say has proof that her husband was cheating and she was leaving him and my advise was that why can’t she call the husband family and discuss the issue before leaving because that will help them to talk about the incident and she can make a decision to stay or to leave.Then she did that but afterwards the husband asked her that its the first time you made a decision to humiliate me in front of my parents how did you come to this decision and she said its me who advised.This was also recorded as unforgivable incident.

As I was reading I realise how much anger and unforgiveness I was harbouring within me and that pain of keeping all this load within me was too much. I started to forgive each and everyone I had mentioned in that journal after reading the whole journal with all the recorded painful incidents and forgiving even people who never asked for forgiveness. I burned that journal on fire and prayed asking for forgiveness for myself since I had also caused pain to others. The process was long and painful since I had to relive the incidents and then forgive each and everyone.I realised after sometime that it was very late and I had forgotten about wild animals, so I packed and went to my tent and I never felt so light and at peace with myself. Then the third day ……….

to be continued

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Loneliness cont

I sit under the tree on a bench facing the lake ,the grass is green and birds are singing.I can see some birds getting in and out of water,singing and having fun. They look so happy without the care in the world andI look and think about myself why am I so lonely when I have a family that love me so dearly and I have a great job that pays me well. Whilst deep in my thought….

I see a couple at a distance laughing and giggling, my attention is drawn to them, they seem so happy and I go back to my thoughts that once upon a time, I used to be happy and was full of life but what went wrong?

It started with emptiness and seeking things that will make me happy, initially I felt bored with my work and thought I need promotion or change work environment but after promotion, I was still lonely. I started looking at things to replace in my life friends, cars , house but the loneliness was always there.

Painkillers will numb the loneliness for sometime then I will move to stronger drugs but all did not help.My family referred me to various doctors and specialists but one thing I found was no one can take this loneliness until I found my life purpose. I prayed and spent time with myself and my creator and this helped me to reconnect to the greater being and I began a journey of peace and love.In this journey I found things and mysteries about myself that I never new existed.

A story told by a young girl who found peace and love will be continued

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Loneliness

I sit and wonder, how can someone be lonely in the mist of people. Looking at this tree makes sense that you can be surrounded by water, beautiful land and all but still be alone.

Loneliness

Loneliness is a place within each one of us, where we always go to search for some meaning in our lives. We miss something that cannot be defined, we feel sad for no reason and we become lonely in the mist of everything. We might have all material things we need and have all the people we love around us but still go to that place we feel lonely.

I have made a decision that loneliness means there is an incomplete journey that I must take or there is unfulfilled project that i must complete because I was born for a purpose so I must spend time with my creator to reveal to me what is it that I need to do in order for me to be on the right direction.

Life becomes meaningless and we find we had spend so much time searching for meaning from other people or things.We spend time trying to find things that will make life meaningful and we forget to sit in that lonely place and search within us for a meaning that would be fulfilling. People around us cannot provide this meaning because they are also searching for this meaning themselves. Others tend to numb the loneliness with various things like (drugs, sex, liquor,extra relationships, religion overdo,etc) which at the end of it all you still find your self lonely.

Stay tuned for next episode

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My love, my protector.

Can love be oppressive?

Young woman story

I love my boyfriend so much and in the beginning of our relationship all was well, he works in a great company has all the things a woman would want. He takes me to holidays in the best destinations of the world. He dresses me with designer clothes only and pampers me with gifts almost every week. This is life I have never experience since I come from a poor family.

This weekend I planned an outing with my friends and was looking forward to a weekend of fun, laugher and catching up. As I was busy packing and having my time to dream about the weekend. I get this call from my boyfriend. ” Honey at work they have arranged staff outing where we should bring our partners tomorrow its the whole day event with a gala dinner” I held my breath with the thought again and asked politely but you know about my plans. He answered matter of factly and said ” Just cancel,this is too important for us and please prepare,gala dinner attire we will wear the attire we bought in Dubai.

Here am I sitting on top of my bed and asking,who am I? Do I still have value or life? Someone might say but you have a great life and what is the use of have all material things when I cannot even make my decisions. Someone who have resources have power over me and decide what is good for me. I ask myself am I not grateful, am I spoiled, am I realistic with my issue.

My friends say, all what I have comes with the package and I can decide to leave it all and be free but go back to poverty. My mom say, he is giving me the life I always dreamt of and as long as he does not beat me, I don’t have anything to cry for. I am blessed.

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Lasting relationships

Launching my book Before Saying I Do

The event was incredible and the discussion about relationship was on point where I saw young people engage more and asking questions which led to discussion on

Knowing and loving yourself before you commit to a relationship

Often when we fall in love, its because we searching for something we missing or we filling a void in our lives or we want someone to complete us.When you have met yourself and you have realise that you are complete as a person you don’t need someone to complete you but need someone to share the best of you and complement the beauty you already have .

We discussed that you first must love and appreciate yourself. Know who you are and what is important to you, Spend time with yourself . People ask how do I spend time with myself?

I always suggest that as you spend time with friends and family, set appointment with yourself,you can even write points or things you want to discuss with you.

For example

  • You say your name and start Charity what is important to you?
  • Charity who are you without things?
  • Charity what is you vision for the future?
  • Charity who do you want to attract in your life and why?
  • Charity what do you stand for and why?
  • Charity how do you see yourself everyday

You can write or visualise in your mind all the answers but you will be honest with your self and this might start by saying and writing all the negative things. If your mind thinks you are a victim of everything negative that is happening or happened to you. You will definitely start there which is good because you will be letting it out and hope you will let it go. You are definitely not your past.

When you done with negative you might start seeing yourself God sees you and begin knowing your potential and begin to value yourself.In the journey of self discovery you will also see yourself in a way no one sees or knows about you. In life we have time for everything and everyone but don’t have time for us. Spending time on the mirror appreciating your eyes,ears.nose etc See yourself as this wonderful person who was created for a purpose.

Know this if you don’t who you are people will tell you who you are and they might define you wrong and destroy the beautiful person you are.

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